Monday, June 4, 2012

10 Days...and Counting!

It seems like just yesterday that we got the call about Jayden...and a million years away, too.  It's been quite a journey - one that's not quite over yet!  When I look back and remember the day we'd gotten the call, the days I didn't think it was going to happen, the phone call from a sweet friend telling me it would, the fundraisers, the unexpected financial blessings, the love and support from friends, family, and complete strangers...I am just amazed!  I am amazed at all God has done and all He continues to do!  If you have had any part in this journey, whether it be financial, hands-on service, and/or prayers...or even just listening to me and encouraging me, I am extremely thankful!  It is because of you that we are now just 10 days away from Jayden's birth (unless he decides to come earlier)!  You are all such a blessing to me!

I have a few minutes while Christopher is still asleep and the little "loaner child" (Brady) that we've been watching the last 3 months while his mother works takes a nap, so I wanted to take a moment and reflect on what I'm thinking today.  No real agenda or plan to this post...just an opportunity for you to get in my head and share in my thoughts of the day (scary, I know!).  :)

We have a stroller (one that can also be a double stroller so that when Brady comes back in the fall I only have to push one stroller) and an infant car seat.  The diaper bag has been packed...and re-packed, and re-packed again!  ;)  Last night, I sterilized all the bottles and pacifiers (and again re-packed the diaper bag).  And yes, I may indeed count down every single day until his birth on Facebook!  I'm just that excited!!!!  =)

This past weekend, a very dear friend of mine sent me a text message and asked if I wanted to go grab some Starbucks with her after church.  I agreed...I'm always up for some girl-time!  I met her after church and got in her we are driving and chatting, I realize she's not going toward any Starbucks I know and I'm slightly confused, but enjoying the conversation so much that I don't think too much about it.  After awhile, my friend makes a confession.  "We're not going to Starbucks," she says.  "We're going to Target.  You're going to pick out your baby gift from me!"  WHAT?!?!?  ;)  At this point, we are both laughing, mostly from surprise, her from the sheer joy of pulling off the surprise!  ;)  I could not believe it!  But, I had so much fun walking through those aisles of precious little baby things with her...but even more fun was sharing in the conversations with her over those baby things!  It reminded me of when I was a little girl and my grandmother would take me shopping for my birthday gift.  She would take me to the store and hand me a buggy (a.k.a. shopping cart) and I could put whatever my little heart desired in that buggy!  Then, when I had exhausted the aisles of toys and books, she would send me to the car with my aunt (who is 10 years my senior) and she would dig through the buggy to find several things to wrap up and give me on my birthday.  My grandmother told me she did this so that she would know she was getting me something I liked, but it would also be a surprise!  Those are some very precious memories of my childhood...unknowingly brought back to life by my precious friend!  

Thursday will be my last day with Brady (a.k.a. our loaner child) until the fall.  His mom teaches at the school where I used to teach and I've been watching him since February.  It's been great "big brother training" for Christopher...and a big help in reminding me what it's like to have a baby around again...after all, it's been 8 years since I've done the baby thing on a regular basis!  I'm going to miss the little guy...he's become a part-time member of our family over the last three months.  I think Christopher will miss him, too...that was evident during spring break when we didn't have him for a whole week!  :)  But, he'll be back in mid-August.  We desperately need a new car.  David and I have each had our cars since before we got married (10 years in September).  Though David's car (a Toyota) is older than mine (a Suzuki), my car is in worse shape and is nearing the end of its great testimony to the value of a well-made car like Toyota!  :)  We haven't had a car payment in quite a few, the money from watching Brady will come in handy!  We are hoping to find a mini-van or other car with 3 rows of seats so that I have enough room for 2 car seats and a booster seat!  Sad as it may sound, my dream car has always been a mini-van!  I never longed for sports cars or anything like that.  Because I have always wanted a large family, it's the mini-van that caught my car-envy eye!  Yeah, I know...I'm weird.   ;)

I had hoped that Jayden would be born on June 8th...that day seemed so perfect.  We would be done watching Brady the day before and we would be back home in time for Christopher to go to VBS (Vacation Bible School) at our church.  It's also my dad's (and Aunt Ann's) birthday...and I couldn't help but think how special it would be for Jayden to share a birthday with his Pop!  But, unless Jayden decides to come on his own, that's not to be.  The doctors have determined that he will be born by c-section on Thursday, June 14th.  Flag Day.  I'm not sure how I feel about that...but it's really not my choice.  I do not get to make decisions about Jayden until after he is released from the hospital.  Until then, it's up to his birth mom and her doctors.  

I think that's one of the hardest parts of this stage of the adoption...especially this time around.  We have known about Jayden almost as long as his birth mom has.  It's the closest I've ever been to carrying a child to full-term...and yet, just when most moms at this point are making birth plans (which my Baby Center app keeps reminding me I need to do), I'm just on standby.  I wish there was a way I could feel what she's feeling.  I want to feel Jayden move.  I want to feel his kicks and punches as he tries to stretch out in his cramped living quarters.  I would even welcome the heartburn, swollen feet, contractions, and any other uncomfortable parts of late pregnancy...just to be that much closer to my son.  But, instead, I wait for phone calls from the agency (I will not even pretend that there is an ounce of patience as I'm waiting, either!) to tell me about the latest doctor visit and/or update.  I do my best to make plans for his birth on our end...knowing every plan I make has to be flexible.  And I wait.  So, if you get tired of my daily countdown on Facebook, please forgive me.  I'm just an excited momma anxious to meet her newest little blessing!

For those of you who see me on a regular basis, you know I've been counting down for quite some time...first in months, then in in days (and occasionally in hours)!  :)  But, someone actually caught me off guard without a ready countdown response!  Last week at church, someone asked me how far away we were...and I couldn't remember if it was 2 or 3 weeks!  I think it's because I got thrown off when they scheduled the c-section for 2 days AFTER the due date.  At least that's my story, and I'm sticking with it!  ;)  But now, I know.  And I can't wait!  A sweet friend reminded me today on Facebook that I'm now at the "only one more Sunday without him" part!  YAY!!!!!!

OK...I think that's enough for today.  I'd like to say that I'll do a daily blog until he comes...but I know that's somewhat unrealistic.  However, you just never know!  ;)  Thanks for indulging me in my ramblings of the day!  May God bless you greatly for your love, caring and friendship!  =)

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