I am constantly amazed at the faith of a little child. Even with disappointments, they believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that if they ask God for something, He will come through for them!
Today, as I was doing an Avon appointment, Christopher announced to my new team member that he was going to have two brothers and two sisters. The lady looked at me expectantly and all I could say was, "He's an only child, but he would very much like not to be." She smiled understandingly and we moved on with the appointment.
His proclaimation did not completely catch me off guard - he's made similar ones before. Usually, it's only 1 brother and 2 sisters (so we even out with girls and boys) - but the faith is always the same. He believes with unshaking faith that God is going to bless him with siblings - and I am completely in awe of his faith!
The infertility journey we have been on together has been a tough one on all of us. We all long for and have been praying for God to bless our family with more children. We all believe that God can do that, but Christopher's the only one to consistantly believe that He will do it!
When you travel down infertility road, it doesn't matter how quickly or cautiously you travel, the wall of disappointment always hits hard. Fortunately, Christopher is blissfully unaware of how things work, so he doesn't hit that wall every month. He's hit it a time or two, and a few times, it's hit him hard. It broke my heart the day he very innocently said to me, "I keep praying and praying, but I'm not getting what I'm praying for." It was a great teachable moment about God's will, but it broke my heart all the same.
What amazes me is that it didn't, as it does in so many grown-ups, take away his faith. He questioned why his prayers hadn't yet been answered the way or when he thought they should be answered, he was satisfied with the answer I provided, and his faith remained firmly in tact! No tears, no holes, no blemish...if anything, it's stronger than before. His declarations of future siblings are becoming more frequent lately and they are always stated with as much certainty as if they were fact.
I wish I could have that same faith. No wonder Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven" (Matthew 18:3). He wasn't saying we needed to become childish...but rather that we should have the faith of a child. As I see that faith displayed in my own child, I despirately long for just that kind of faith - a faith that isn't tarnished by "being reailistic."
We have no idea when God will bless us with children or even how He will choose to bless us, but today, I purpose in my heart to believe it will happen, just as my precious son does...because "nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37)!