Other than that, there's really not much news to report. We are still (yes, STILL) waiting on the ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby. The birth mom has an exam scheduled for February 24th, and according to the agency, they will discuss when to have the ultrasound at that visit. This means that it will probably be March or later before we find out girl or boy. Not that it matters to us which one, but I would just like to be able to call the baby by name or a single pronoun. Names like "the baby," "Christopher's Sibling," "brother or sister," and the joint pronoun "he or she" or "he/she" is getting a bit tiresome. It has even crossed my mind to find an independent ultrasound place and see if I could take her there to find out (not sure how we would pay for it, but it did cross my mind!)! I took my frustration to God this morning in my quiet time - doing some serious complaining about it, actually - then God gently reminded me that His timing is not mine...and His is better (perfect, actually!). He reminded me of times in the past when I've been anxious and impatient because something wasn't happening in MY timing...and times when I later understood WHY it was best to be delayed. One such time is the time I was taking a dinner to a friend and her family after her husband had surgery. After getting the meal in the car and ready to head out, I realized I'd left an item in my kitchen that needed to go with the meal. I had to go back in the house for it and was feeling frustrated at the delay. However, it only took as long as a drive to the end of my street to realize the reason. A car came flying around the corner and would have surely smashed into me, perhaps ending my life, if I'd been at the corner just a few minutes earlier. In the time it took me to go back inside to retrieve the item, I had missed certain disaster! I was shaken up (as was the meal)...but I was alive and the meal made it to its destination! :)
So...even though I'm frustrated by the delay in finding out the gender of our baby, I can be thankful that our baby is still growing healthy in the birth mother's womb and that God still has us all in the palm of His hand. I'm sure there's a reason for the delay...whether that be for the baby's sake, for my sake, for the birth mother's sake...or simply another lesson in the course of patience that I seem to be unable to graduate from! :) So...I will wait...and I'll try not to roll my eyes and sigh in exasperation when well-meaning friends and family ask if we've found out yet. For those of you who have already witnessed the rolling eyes and sighs of frustration from me, please forgive me. I hope you understand my frustration isn't with you, but rather frustration of the unknown and my inability to answer your question! :)
So many times I think, "If I were pregnant with this baby..." and finish the sentence with whatever thing I wish our birth mom would do to make my life a little bit easier - but I'm NOT the one pregnant...what I AM is the one she chose to be the Mommy to not one, but TWO of her children...and for that, I need to just be thankful and focus on how blessed I am rather than what I wish would be different.
And I am blessed...VERY blessed! I have a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally. I have a precious son who has been a joy and a blessing from the very beginning. Our family has been chosen (though we never sought it out) to raise his sibling. I have friends and family who have supported us in ways I never imagined they would! I am blessed in deed! :)